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My Story

My journey began in a world where silence spoke louder than words, under the watchful eyes of a father whose expectations shaped my every move. I wanted to be strong so I grew up striving to be the son he wanted, immersing myself in the roles and activities that defined traditional masculinity, yet always feeling a step out of sync with the world around me.

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What made life tough is that Dad didn't communicate what he wanted. He just expected that I'd do things that would make him proud. So because of that I did everything to "be a man", played football, baseball, hunted, fished, wrestled, worked farm equipment, welded, ranched, rodeoed---all to try to fit in.

I don't regret any of these activities, in fact I enjoyed them, however it didn't fulfill find the deeper meaning I was looking for. 

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Life didn't ease up as I grew older. It threw curveballs in the form of a rocky marriage, the instability of losing jobs, and the gnawing pain of homelessness. It was like walking through a never-ending storm, where each bolt of lightning was a challenge to my mental and emotional stability, and each clap of thunder, a reminder of my ongoing battle with substance abuse.

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It was in these moments of despair that Ta entered my life, shining a light on a path I'd never considered before – the world of electronic music. This was more than a hobby; it was a lifeline, a spark in the overwhelming darkness. But the real turning point came one Christmas Eve, when a book on yoga found its way into my hands. It wasn't just a book; it was an invitation to a journey of self-discovery.

I took to yoga with a hunger for something meaningful, something real. It became my oasis in a desert of chaos. Even as I grappled with health issues, a turbulent home life, and the relentless doubts that plagued my mind, yoga offered a glimpse of peace, a taste of what life could be.

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My quest for deeper understanding led me to India, a land rich with ancient wisdom. Here, in the birthplace of yoga, I peeled back layers of my past, each revelation a step towards a greater truth. India wasn't just a place; it was a transformative experience, a crucible in which my old self was reshaped, reborn.

Returning home, I carried with me not just memories, but a mission. I'd walked through fire and come out stronger, and I knew there were others like me, men lost in their own battles, searching for a beacon in their darkness. My journey, with all its trials and tribulations, had prepared me to be that beacon, to guide others towards their own path of self-discovery and healing.

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My story is more than a series of events; it's a testament to the power of transformation, a reminder that even in our darkest moments, there is hope, there is a path forward. It's a journey not just of self-discovery, but of self-creation, a journey I continue to walk every day.

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